ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize