I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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