A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
