2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
