You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize