Your dad touched me again.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
