I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
