Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
