dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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