I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
