is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize