i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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