he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
