look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
