yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Are my feet made of real feet?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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