she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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