It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize