YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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