You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
