Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
