I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Porn is love you can see.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
