Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
