Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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