If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
