i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
