And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
