i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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