hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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