I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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