Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
handjob tips. give me some.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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