If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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