you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
