i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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