Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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