Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
