i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
