it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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