She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
