I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
