Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
