I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
