Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
