Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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