sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
