I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
