Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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