Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
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