But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
