new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
