I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
