Do you still have your period?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
