put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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