ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
