I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
