She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
