I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
