i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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